• Food and fatness

    Food as a form of…

    Self-harm I’ve started to wonder if consuming this type of ‘meal’ almost daily is a form of self-harm, a way of punishing myself for pushing my body into obesity by, paradoxically, making it even more obese and thus confirming its grotesqueness. I don’t wish to diminish the more traditional experiences of self-harm, but I can see similarities between inflicting a physical wound and frequently ingesting large quantities of unhealthy food in an almost manic way. First there is the restlessness and persistent thoughts of committing the act which you battle against constantly; this is followed by the unstoppable urge to perform the act or else you will disappear into a…

  • Food and fatness

    Emotional eating alert

    I am an emotional eater, an overeater, a binge eater, food addict and general greedy guts. Morbidly obese (I might actually be super morbidly obese which is quite something) at 5ft 2ins and a size 24, I can’t even see myself anymore. But I think that is the aim actually, to be invisible, which seems ironic given how much space I now take up. I’ve written about my half-hearted attempt to lose weight in my previous blog, Finally Stuffed, and detailed my struggle to overcome emotional eating (which predictably ended in no actual action on my part to make the weight loss occur). What is emotional eating? For me, emotional…